Fancy Flyer

A couple of months after the newspaper incident, the agency called again and said I was already confirmed for a department store shoot two days later, all I had to do was show up. I could hardly believe it, it was finally going to happen! I pictured everyone in my school leafing through their mail-delivered catalogues and spotting me, looking absolutely glamorous.

I'd been told to have my hair and make-up done and ready to shoot when we got to the studio, so on the day I rushed to the school bathrooms, with its awful fluorescent lighting, as soon as the last bell went and hastily applied some make-up, mostly borrowed from my mom. A younger girl using the wash basin stared at me in wonder. How much do you think I enjoyed telling her that I was on my way to a photo shoot?

My mom and I arrived at a dark, cold and dingy warehouse studio in the city, where I was immediately shooed into a dressing room. I had to remove several layers of clothing, it was the middle of winter, and I was mortified to be in my underwear in front of the none-too-friendly stylist. I wondered what I would be wearing and hoped it would be something really cool and trendy.

When the stylist handed me a huge, ugly white bra, I couldn't hide my shock. "Is that it? Is that all I'm wearing?" I squeaked. "Yes dear just get it on, we're running late. You can put your pants back on." As she left the room I took a quick moment to swallow back the tears threatening to spill over and gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror. 

"We came all this way, my mom took time off work to bring me, I was getting paid for it, I don't want to be a prude..." There was no turning back. 

I ran my brush through hair that had been in a ponytail all day, applied some more Vixen lipstick, straightened my shoulders and walked out into the studio wearing my jeans, boots and the Ugliest Bra in the World.

I was made to sit on a little stool in front of a plain white background. My mom was standing in a dark recess of the warehouse, trying not to get in anyone's way. When she saw what I was wearing, or rather not wearing, she just pulled a funny disgusted face and gave me a huge grin of encouragement. I tried to greet the photographer and introduce myself. He gave a condescending little smile and said "Just sit there and smile, okay?" I did my best to follow his instructions, and within twenty minutes it was all over. The photographer and stylist hastily moved onto the next shot, hardly even saying thank you or goodbye.

Thus I learned my very first lessons in modelling:

Ask questions before the shoot: you're allowed to know what you're getting yourself into.
Be ready for anything: including underwear/swimwear, extreme temperatures, embarrassment.
It's certainly not all glamour all the time: in fact, mostly it's not.
You're not the star of the show on set: you're just the product.
Pay your dues: you have to start somewhere, most likely not at the top.

I still don't know why I'm doing this, except for the little "in all honesty" clause this blog is based on, but here, for your viewing pleasure, I present, the true star of the show.

The Ugliest Bra In The World

For the bargain price of 79 US cents ladies, don't get one, get two!

And just to really rub it in, at about the same time I was Pepping the Ladies' Fancy Bra, Miss Eva Herzigova was saying 'Hello, boys!' in her Wonderbra and causing all kinds of commotion all around the world.

Please vote in my poll on the right, how much do you think I got paid for this beauteous work of art called the Fancy Bra Flyer?