Sunday, April 5, 2009

Fancy Flyer

A couple of months after the newspaper incident, the agency called again and said I was already confirmed for a department store shoot two days later, all I had to do was show up. I could hardly believe it, it was finally going to happen! I pictured everyone in my school leafing through their mail-delivered catalogues and spotting me, looking absolutely glamorous.

I'd been told to have my hair and make-up done and ready to shoot when we got to the studio, so on the day I rushed to the school bathrooms, with its awful fluorescent lighting, as soon as the last bell went and hastily applied some make-up, mostly borrowed from my mom. A younger girl using the wash basin stared at me in wonder. How much do you think I enjoyed telling her that I was on my way to a photo shoot?

My mom and I arrived at a dark, cold and dingy warehouse studio in the city, where I was immediately shooed into a dressing room. I had to remove several layers of clothing, it was the middle of winter, and I was mortified to be in my underwear in front of the none-too-friendly stylist. I wondered what I would be wearing and hoped it would be something really cool and trendy.

When the stylist handed me a huge, ugly white bra, I couldn't hide my shock. "Is that it? Is that all I'm wearing?" I squeaked. "Yes dear just get it on, we're running late. You can put your pants back on." As she left the room I took a quick moment to swallow back the tears threatening to spill over and gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror. 
"We came all this way, my mom took time off work to bring me, I was getting paid for it, I don't want to be a prude..." There was no turning back. 
I ran my brush through hair that had been in a ponytail all day, applied some more Vixen lipstick, straightened my shoulders and walked out into the studio wearing my jeans, boots and the Ugliest Bra in the World.

I was made to sit on a little stool in front of a plain white background. My mom was standing in a dark recess of the warehouse, trying not to get in anyone's way. When she saw what I was wearing, or rather not wearing, she just pulled a funny disgusted face and gave me a huge grin of encouragement. I tried to greet the photographer and introduce myself. He gave a condescending little smile and said "Just sit there and smile, okay?" I did my best to follow his instructions, and within twenty minutes it was all over. The photographer and stylist hastily moved onto the next shot, hardly even saying thank you or goodbye.

Thus I learned my very first lessons in modelling:

Ask questions before the shoot: you're allowed to know what you're getting yourself into.
Be ready for anything: including underwear/swimwear, extreme temperatures, embarrassment.
It's certainly not all glamour all the time: in fact, mostly it's not.
You're not the star of the show on set: you're just the product.
Pay your dues: you have to start somewhere, most likely not at the top.

I still don't know why I'm doing this, except for the little "in all honesty" clause this blog is based on, but here, for your viewing pleasure, I present, the true star of the show.

The Ugliest Bra In The World

For the bargain price of 79 US cents ladies, don't get one, get two!

And just to really rub it in, at about the same time I was Pepping the Ladies' Fancy Bra, Miss Eva Herzigova was saying 'Hello, boys!' in her Wonderbra and causing all kinds of commotion all around the world.

Please vote in my poll on the right, how much do you think I got paid for this beauteous work of art called the Fancy Bra Flyer?

20 comments:

Amber said...

I'll take two thanks. My $1.58 is in the mail.

Serious kudos for showing this pic. It is truly hilarious. I'm so glad you kept it!!!

Ruby Slippers said...

OMG. I scrolled slowly into the picture, saw the bra, and went, "That HAS to be from Pep! Only Pep has bras that ugly!"
R7.99...geez, that was cheap. Times have changed. Not that I've ever bought a bra at Pep so I have no clue what they charge now!

On the upside you actually look really pretty (your face, I mean...obviously nothing was gonna make that white sucker look pretty!). Thanks for sharing the embarrassment! I appreciate your honesty :-)

Lisa D said...

OMG! Thanks for sharing the pic - that bra is hideous!!!

Props to you for going through with it, though!!

Cate Subrosa said...

Heeee! I am so glad you posted it. The bra was even uglier in reality than in my imagination. And your expression coupled with the laughing sun logo - priceless!

LPC said...

You look like you are saying, "I will get you for this," somewhere inside.

Kristy said...

Oh my. That bra is truly unfortunate. Cate's right - the contrast between the look on your face and the laughing sun is pretty funny.

Spitzer Tales said...

I am so thankful that you let us in on this. It is really, truly priceless. Why isn't that one of the options in the how much you got paid survey?

Being Brazen said...

Not a very sexy bra ;)

Kitty Cat said...

Oh, you were so cute! In that amaPep bra! Shame, I'm sure it was a shock to find that's all you were wearing, but at least it was a big, covering bra!

TinyToes said...

my darling dear - i cannot believe that PEP put you through that! and that look on your face - priceless!! at least the Vixen lipstick rocked... love you for showing this pic though!

Marie said...

Oh that bra, hideous! I agree with everyone else, serious Kudos to you for posting the advert.

Barefoot Billionaire said...

So proud of you. Not only for taking the disappointment of your first shoot with so much dignity, but also for actually sharing that ad with us. Total mismatch between between your fresh sensuality and that absolutely horrible bra!

Once A Bride said...

you're right. one ugly bra. we all have to start somewhere, right?

Brittany-FortheLoveofBrides said...

ok, thanks a lot-I almost spit my OJ all over my computer when I scrolled down and saw this picture. You look like you're saying-"screw all of you for making me wear this bra!"

ahhahahahha!

Brunhilda said...

Oh my. That is one severe boulder holder. A bargin at .79. Just wow! At least you learned from the experience!

Being Brazen said...

Have a great easter

agirl said...

Oh sweetie.

You see I would probably just have given up right there. So, well done!

And you are such a tease...

ansie said...

You are a star, that expression...!!!
I had a good laugh, thanks!!

Hannah Noel said...

Bhahahaha... sorry, lol.

Rachel said...

Vile bra but you look rather sweet! x